Kira has definitely hit the troublesome threes. She is whining whenever things don't go her way and she has started being rude. If you tell her or ask her to do something her immediate response is either no or why. We have been spanking or sending her to timeout. Yesterday when she was tantruming because she couldn't go with Daddy, I stuck her in timeout. When I put her on the bed, she flinched because she expected to get spanked too. I don't want my child to be afraid of me. I just want her to grow up to be respectful, happy, healthy and enjoy life.
I spent the rest of the evening thinking about ways to get her attitude under control. My mind went back to a conversation that I had with my Mom last year when Kira told her first lie - she hasn't lied since, thank goodness! Mom told me that one of the moments she regrets the most was when I was about Kiras age and I told a lie. She tried to get me to tell her the truth and I kept lying. Finally, she told me that she knew I was lying and she gave me a swat on my bottom. I don't remember this incident at all, but Mom had spent the next 20 years wishing she had bent down and given me a hug instead of a swat. That is who I want to emulate.
With that said, I thought of alternatives to timeouts and spankings. I tossed around the idea of taking away privileges, adding extra chores, washing her mouth out with soap, etc. When Josh and I talked he solidified that I don't want to wash her mouth out yet or worry about the more 'grown up' punishments now.
After much contemplation, prayer and discussion, we are going to take away toys. Everytime she acts out, the toy she is or has been playing with most recently will be put in a basket. If she tantrums after that, then instead of one doll going into the basket, all the dolls and their accessories will be removed as well. Another part of consequences are the rewards. So for every hour that she behaves she gets to take one toy out of the basket. If she goes all day without a toy being put in then she gets all the toys back and gets a sticker on her chart. Kira is excited about it and I hope that helps her to behave better. So far today she has been wonderful!
I will keep you posted on if this works or not. I sure hope so! I am so ready to get into the terrific 3's!
Discipline works differently for each individual child, but I agree with your mom and also with your new choice. :) We've taken possessions and privileges away from our children for years, and it has worked beautifully (for us). When our teenagers act out, we take their truck/driving privileges away. If they continue, we take their cell phone, then tv/game system. If they continue, we take their mattresses away. :) Same goes for the little guys (although they don't have vehicles, cell phones, or gaming systems/tvs in their room). With them, we shorten their outdoor play, take away their sweet snack, cancel their hour of tv/gaming, or cancel their 5-stars-a-week-equals-Dollar-Tree-Visit. :) Time out and spanking never worked with our two spectrum kids, and although we did spank our oldest when they were younger, we're not allowed to spank foster children so had to think of other alternatives. Good luck in your quest; trial and error are key, and you've already figured that out so you've won half the battle! (PS I have no earthly idea how to "comment as" or which option to choose because I don't have any of those.)
ReplyDeleteSounds like a great idea!!! Let me know how it works.
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