It's been one year since my Mom passed away. Thinking back on this last year, it's been tough. The memories are still so fresh. Something as simple as reading one of my favorite story books to the girls brings on the pangs of grief. Watching Kira learn something new, or Rora wanting to call 'papa.' It makes me so sad that she is missing it, missing them. Kira will never read a book to her, Rora will never call her on the phone.
And then I have days like today. I am not 100% sure, but it is possible that I am having a miscarriage. I am extremely sad and yet I am also calm. Josh told me last week that she has been nonstop 'lobbying' my case to the Lord. It made me laugh then and today, it brings me comfort. I know she is here holding me close. Helping me not to feel fearful. I am surprisingly calm. Sad, but calm. I guess thats one of the benefits of having her there. I know that no matter what if I need her she is right here with me.
I know this post is rambling, but so are my thoughts. Mom, I miss you and I love you. I am so grateful for the Gospel and the knowledge that I have that we can be together again. I'm not sure if I would have been able to make it through this past year without that. I love you Mom! You are forever in my heart. Thanks for giving me such a wonderful life!
Til we meet again......
She has been on my thoughts so much this past week. This will be the first time in almost 20 years of being it Utah, that we won't get to visit with her. She was always the best part of the trip.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you. I'm sure your mom is hugging your baby whether he/she comes on March 14th or a little bit later.
ReplyDeleteThis was a beautiful, tear-evoking blog.
ReplyDeleteSomeone told me they believed you should announce a pregnancy as soon as you know, especially considering the chance of miscarriage. You need to celebrate a life from the first moment on!
Thanks for allowing us to witness the excitement in your family over your precious little one.
Your pregnancy and family are in our family's prayers.
I was quoting someone else when I said, "You need to celebrate a life from the first moment on!" I want to clarify that because it's obvious your family is living that out.
ReplyDeleteWe are all blessed when we celebrate a life from the first moment on!