So I do try not to talk about my Mom in every post, yet everything I do/am/try to be has been touched by my Mom. So if I sound a little redundant, that's why ;)
Anyways, back to my post...our ward just had our primary program last week. (Where the kids ages 3-11 teach our worship service.) I got the privilege of writing it this year. Of course when you put your heart into something you want it to turn out perfect and you especially want the Spirit to be felt by the congregation. Wow! What a learning experience it was! It was so amazing to see it all come together. From writing it, to interjecting the children in and finally, arranging seats on the 'stage.'(sorry, I don't know what it's called...) It all came together. from having exactly the right amount of parts, to seating arrangements. It's so comforting to know that the Lord watches over me as I try my best to serve him, no matter how small my task.
I also learned so much about myself. I have always known that I am not usually a person who stresses about things, and when I do stress about something, its because I have no control over someone else's actions and that saddens me and causes my stress. I really didn't stress about the program. Sure, I dreamed about kids embarassing themselves and detracting from the Spirit, but I never really stressed. I felt so close to my Mom because of it. I don't recall her getting stressed very often when I was younger. She would always do her best and let the Lord take any worry that could turn into stress. I am so grateful that she passed that on to me, no matter that I am not able to do it as easily, I learned it from her. That trait that she possesses, she passed it on to me! If only I can live up to her legacy.
Another thing my Mom taught me was that my children are the most important things in my life. We had a rainstorm today, it was one of those 'Singing in the Rain' rainstorms. Where the rain is pouring down as hard and unrealistically as it does in the movie. What did we do? We stopped what we were doing, Kira ignored her barbies and I left the messy after-lunch kitchen, we had a storm to play in! Kira, Lizzy(Kira's friend) and I had a blast for about 10 minutes just running, dancing, jumping in puddles and enjoying the rain. When we came back in the house Kira told me that, "Grandma used to do that when you were a little girl." Yes, yes my Mother taught me so much. About life, family and the Lord. She also taught me about trials.
I have never met another being as enduring as my Mom. To think that she layed in that bed for over two years fighting each day to live makes me feel so shameful. She never complained. She always had a smile and did everything she could to make my life and everyone else's as easy as possible. How many times have I complained because I had a headache? Or didn't get enough sleep? I know on Sunday I made bread. It was a colder morning and as I was kneading the dough I had to stop in between loaves because of my arthritis. As I finished the last loaf I started to cry, realising that if it keeps progressing, one day I may not have the ability to make bread, or teach my children to embroider, etc, etc, etc. Yet that is nothing to the trials that Mom faced. Days before her passing she was asking about my kids and helping me through, in comparison, simple trials. One day I hope to have her graceful and charming spirit of endurance...yes, I need to work on it!
So now you know, nothing that I do is without my Mom. She is gone, but she is still very much a part of my life. And if I do say so myself, she taught me well...now I just need to learn it all!
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