Judas Iscariot

Judas Iscariot.  This Easter season my mind has been focused on him.  I have decided that the one person I would like to go back in history and talk to would be him.  All for the why.

Why did you betray the Savior?  What would have happened had you not betrayed him?  What was you life like afterwards?  And again, WHY?

Growing up I saw him as greedy, selfish, evil, etc.  How could someone so close to Jesus act as he did?  WHY?

So I set out to answer the why.  Where was his mind when he betrayed the Lord?  Why settle for 30 pieces of silver?  And why the choose something as intimate as a kiss to mark Jesus.

*All of this is my own speculation*

What if Judas saw this as not an opportunity for personal gain, but a gentle push towards Jesus reign over the earth.  I bet he prayed about it.  He tried hard to get Jesus to use his power and unite the Jews.  After all, he knew what Jesus could do.  He had seen the miracles.  Nothing bad can happen, he IS the Savior.  But Jesus told him to be patient.  So he waited, and waited, and still nothing.  It had to be so hard to push aside his goals.  He had read the scriptures, he knew that Jesus had come to save the earth.  So why wasn't he? 
And then I bet someone mentioned a gentle push. He, Judas, could be the one who helped Jesus stretch forth his hand and show who he is to all the world.  End the suffering.  Bring the dove of peace.  Sometime thereafter, I imagine that a word or two was mentioned about receiving payment.  At first I bet the money ment nothing.  And then Satan got to work.  Wouldn't it be nice to buy _____ for your Mom, your Wife, etc.  You could take the money and put it all back into the church.  It would be helping Jesus.  A million thoughts, a million needs and uses.
And now we come to the kiss.  I like to think that the kiss was ment as a sign of love.  He thought Jesus invincible.  Now to just show him that it was all done for love.  What sadness did he see in Jesus eyes? Did he hesitate? Realizing that he was about to make a mistake?  Or was he confident.  He had the answers, only good could come... 
And then the agony.  Watching the next few days unfold.  Not as you thought they would, no, the opposite.  Was he Angry at God?  Confused? Hurt? And then Guilty. Ashamed.  Repentant.

As you read the betrayal story in the scriptures, it seems like such a clear cut case, he betrayed the Son of God.  He received payment.  And yet without his actions the Resurrection wouldn't have happened. 
God knew he was going to betray Jesus, just as he knew that Eve was going to eat of the forbidden fruit. 

For me, this Easter, the message is clear.  I know not the inner workings of another's heart, so how can I judge?