Changes

Everyone goes through changes. Some are big, some are small. I have had my fair share of changes in the last few years. My world changed when Mom was diagnosed with cancer. It changed again when I moved to Alabama. And again with the birth of each child. Not all of the changes in my life have been things that I wanted, or even ever thought I could deal with. Yet as I look back even Mom getting cancer has had some hidden blessings in it. The silver lining. I have gotten closer to my Dad, been able to see my Mom in a new way and draw on her strength even more and I have become much more articulate when it comes to expressing my feelings. Today I woke up unable to walk on my foot without extreme pain. After going to the doctors I found out that at the age of 22 I have gout.
For the last 2 1/2 hours I have been crying and trying to wrap my mind around it. After a great talk with my Mom I realized that sometimes the blessings that are recieved through trials aren't given to those going through the trial. I haven't had cancer, yet I have been so blessed because of my Mom's trial. Maybe in 50 years I can look back and see that there is something good that had come out of this. Right now I am just praying for the companionship and comfort that the Lord provides.
I know my life is changing again and I am not sure where it is headed. I hope that this doesn't impact the things I do, but part of me is fearing the worst. The larger part of me however, is calming down and is trying let the Lord lead my path. I trust him and I know that even though I can't see where my life is headed, he can and he is guiding me and molding me into who I am supposed to be. Maybe ill have days where I can't run around and play with my kids, but I can still snuggle up and read stories until im hoarse.
My Grandpa has gout. He's had it as long as I can remember. I don't remember him ever playing rough with us, but it didn't matter. He is still an amazing Grandpa. He wrote a book and I loved to sit and listen to him read it, my imagination soaring. He dug around in boxes one evening looking for a specific book to share with me, if he was in pain, it didn't matter. His love didn't change because he has a hard time walking, or he is in pain. That is the way I want to be.
Whatever happens, happens, and I will make the best of it. 'Come what may and love it' is my new motto. Thanks to Elder Wirthlin for sharing his message that is helping me get over the hurdle of 'having gout.'